Can't Write

I was so upset today I couldn't write.  This is the first time this has happened since high school.  I pulled out my writings during nap time and stared at the blank page.  I haven't stared at a blank page and not know what to write.  NOTHING.  I was so shocked.  I hope this doesn't keep up because I'm getting into the story I'm writing.

Crotchety People

At work I drive the kids to and from school in the mini-bus.  I have to make a left at this intersection near the elementary school that truly needs a stoplight.  Sometimes I'll spend ten minutes or more trying to make the turn.  The other day I was sitting and waiting.  I saw a spot open for me to get half way across and one or two cars would pass so I could complete the left.  I went halfway across to be greeted by a crotchety old man slamming on his breaks almost causing an accident just so he could honk his horn and give me a dirty look.  I was shocked at his reaction.  Yes, there is a bus coming, seemingly, into the lane you are driving in.  However, does it require you to cause an accident to prove that you are in the right?
 What does someone gain by being so rude?

Can a girl get a break?

It seems like everything just keeps piling on.  I want a break.  I was in a car accident that wasn't my fault (I was stopped at a yield sign because traffic was coming and the guy behind me kept going, rather quickly might I add).  I got hurt sort of bad, but not so bad that I had to go to the emergency room.  I still have knee pain from the accident and I can't bend it very much.  The accident totaled my car.  Now I have no car.  My dad so graciously told me that, since my mom wants a new car, I can go ahead and have her car.  Don't get me wrong, a free car is great.  But it was presented as if the only reason I'm getting it is because my mom wants a new car.  Like my parents wouldn't even offer to help if she didn't want a new car.  They could buy the whole family new cars and not even sweat it.  Seriously!  Ugh.  So now we are paying for a rental car for a month until we go to Pennsylvania to get my mom's car.  We are driving up in Stewart's car and then we have to drive back in two cars.  That sucks!  Driving like 10 hours alone but not really.  Yuck.  Tried to see if we could drive the rental up but Enterprise said they could do drop offs in another state.  Why not?  There are Enterprises all over the country.  Why can't I just drop the car off at one of the gazillion other stores?!
On top of all this, the house is a damn disaster.  I have panic attacks just looking at it all.  I shut down and am unable to help clean up.  How sad is that?  Ugh!
Can a girl get a break?  Please!

Always Something...

I am just recently starting to move on from the miscarriage.  I am going to be in charge at work next week which is really stressing me out.  But I'm trying to update my look.  I've been a "t-shirt and jeans" kind of girl since, ever, and now I'm trying to look cuter.  I've found some great options for casual but not dumpy/boring.  But today, this has been one crap-fest after another.  First, my mom left today.  She visited for a week.  Yeah, she eventually has to leave, but that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it.  Then, as I'm driving to work some IDIOT rear-ends me.  I'm stopped at an intersection waiting for traffic to go and the guy behind me thinks I should be going, doesn't see me or who knows what else!  I am home from work and unable to enjoy it.  My whole left side hurts (I was turned to the left to see the traffic) and I truly don't want to do anything.  I know I'm not going to feel like going in to work tomorrow, but I will anyway.  I always do.  I want to impress my boss because I want the promotion that she's interviewing for.  My interview was about a week ago or so and I'm anxious to find out who is picked.  Oh well.  Hopefully tomorrow is better.  I know the pain meds will make it bearable at the least.

On This Day

Blogging on September 11th.  Kind of cliche but I truly don't care.  I always look back on this day and reflect on how I felt that day and the days following.  It was a very scary time for me.  I was going to school at ODU at the time which happens to be situated next to the largest naval station in the world, also home to the Atlantic fleet of the US Navy.  I woke up for class as usual that day.  It was a Tuesday, my easy day as far as classes were concerned.  I had MTV on in the dorm room.  My roommate had left for the day already.  I was about to get into the shower when my roommate came in and asked to change the channel.  I said sure since I was getting in the shower and clearly couldn't watch from in there.  When I got out I stood there in my towel and watched as the first tower smoked from the first plane crashed.  I was confused, what had happened?  I sat on my bed and watched silently in my towel with my roommate.  We were confused.  Then we watched the second plane plow into the second tower.  We gasped in shock not knowing or understanding.  The newscasters had speculated the first one was an accident but there was no question that the second wasn't.  I got dressed quickly since the RA, my roommates sister and my good friend, had come in at some point and I was still in my towel, completely dry by that point.  I had to leave for class not long after the towers fell.  My roommate commented that she assumed class would be cancelled.  I went to make sure.  My Physics teacher, the out of touch woman she was, still had class, as small as the class was that day.  When class got out my boyfriend at the time came and told me a plane crashed in Pennsylvania but he was unsure where.  I immediately thought of my family and friends back home.  I took out my cell phone and called my parents.  They live outside of Philadelphia.  They were fine and told me the plane crashed near Pittsburg.  I hung up and attempted to get ahold of Sarah who attended University of Pittsburg.  It took a few tries before I could even get through to her.  She was fine, scared and shook up, but fine.  Everyone found out that classes were cancelled for the rest of the day.  Rumors had started by then that the Naval Base, the one that I could see nightly out my dorm window that had a slight waterfront view, was the next target.
After I got back to my dorm we all sat silently and watched the television for the rest of the day, scared at any sound that could have been a plane.  The days following I watched as parents came and collected their children from the dorm to take them home.  Parents that weren't going to let their children go to a school so close to such an obvious target.  Each day the television in our room never moved from CNN.  We watched.  We mourned.  We reflected.  We were still confused.
Today, eight years later, my boss asked during my lunch break if we (myself and Kenda) remembered where we were eight years prior.  We all started to recount our stories, my fear resurfacing eight years after.  I can still remember the fear I felt, the fear of the campus.  It was thick and unsettling that day.  My Physics teacher clearly oblivious to the world stage going on outside her classroom doors.  My boss oblivious to the stories of the others, wrapped up in her own story that she clearly wanted to share, the point of her asking if we remembered.
My generation has a handful of life changing events unlike my parents' generation.  We didn't land on the moon or mourn the death of a president in my generation.  We did however watch the OJ Simpson trial, mourn the first terrorist attack on our soil from an outside force in quite some time, go to war with Iraq twice.  My generation is different but we still can say "I remember this day, back when..." no matter how hard it may be to say.

Visitors

Stewart's parents arrived last night.  We've spent the last week and a half building, cleaning, organizing, throwing away, and goodwilling.  The house looks the best it ever has since we've moved in.  There are still boxes in the office, living room, closet, and the room I won't go into.  It will all get unpacked eventually.  We've said we need to maintain what's been cleaned and just make it better as we unpack and put things away.  I just hope we can stick to our promise to each other.
We're going to the close flea market/farmer's market for the first time today.  I'm excited!  I want to buy some vegetables for tonight since we are cooking out.  Plus if the fruit looks good I'll buy some for me to have along with the "personal watermelon" I bought.  I hope there's a bakery there with good rolls, scones or bagels.  I've wanted some sweet bread lately and nothing at the store has been what I've been looking for.

Beginnings

With everything that's happened in the last few weeks, and my life in general, I figured I should get back to writing.  I've got so much going on in my head I can't seem to express it all.  I think putting it all into words will help.
I used to do this back in high school and college.  It was a blog before the term "blog" existed.  It was "LiveJournal" back then.  My old LiveJournal (LJ) still exists.  Seems like none of my friends still use it though.  That's ok, I don't use it either.  Hopefully I can update more frequently than I did my LJ.
Follow along with me on my journey, comment, respond, whatever.  Keep it clean though since I intend on doing the same.